I want to understand more

You know that question kids like to answer, 

If you were to have one superhero power, what would it be?

Well, my super power would be to know exactly how people think, their beliefs, their values, and how they make their life choices. This kind of thing fascinates me. I'm always trying to figure out someone's thought process. 

This day and age, there are a lot of things to have an opinion about. There are so many things to keep us busy. There's really no reason for any of us to be bored. At the same time, with everything that's out there, there are so many different choices and lifestyles, we find so many people in so many 'camps'.

Liberal or Conservative?

Vegan or Paleo?

Masculine or Feminine?

Natural or Synthetic?

Fast food or Organic?

Running or Yoga?

Breastmilk or Formula?

Chiropractic or Medicine?

There's just so much out there. The lists goes on and on. And everybody's got an opinion about it.

I wanna know where and how and why people get their opinions and beliefs. Are people able to explore the 'other' side objectively? Can people hear other ideas and thoughts? Why are we so resistant to change? Why do people get so offended?

Recently I posted a question on my Facebook page about getting adjusted regularly. It became a threadhole of different opinions about why some people don't get chiropractic adjustments.

How do people not get regular chiropractic adjustments?

My motivation for the question was to understand and know what other people do if they've never gotten an adjustment. I suppose I could have elaborated on the question to help people understand where I was coming from. 

I've been getting adjusted since I was about 11-years-old. So, for the most part, I don't know what it's like NOT getting adjusted. It's been a part of my lifestyle for all this time, and it works for me. When I asked the question, I genuinely wanted to know what people do to stay healthy and feel good. I also wanted to know about those people who did indeed get adjusted in the past, but didn't continue. There were many views.

For the people who didn't continue, their answer was simple and understanding. They didn't have a good experience and never went to another one.

End of.

Most people answered that it's all about being able to afford regular chiropractic care.

Some of my colleagues out there didn't buy that answer. 

I agree.

Saying that you can't afford the regular chiropractic adjustments is baloney to me.

Please, stay with me. Lemme explain.

A large majority of people who come in to see me do so because they are in pain. 

They hurt.

They want to know why.

But the bottom line is, they want the pain to go away.

I tell people time and time again that pain is not the problem. The problem is the problem. But human beings don't automatically think of it that way. People feel pain, react, and then do something to make the pain go away.

But the 'something' is usually a drug or a massage, or they think it's because they slept wrong and eventually, the pain will go away on its own.

When someone comes in to see me, they expect me to 'fix' it and make the pain go away.

It doesn't work that way.

But, for argument's sake, let's go with this.

Most of the time, a series of chiropractic adjustments is very effective in 'making the pain go away'. 

Yes, that initial series is a certain amount of money.

But, once the pain goes away, assuming you're not going to do anything stupid like eat crap food every day, drink loads every day, stay up all night, and treat your body like it's a punching bag, you can actually improve your health and state of discomfort greatly by just making a few changes gradually.

(Just because you get older every year, doesn't mean that your health is supposed to get worse and worse.)

Once the pain goes away, it's MUCH easier to keep the pain away doing good things for your body and mind than to deal with damage control of severe debilitating pain.

Consider that part of that good routine includes regular chiropractic adjustments twice a month. 

And if money is an issue, an adjustment once a month is way better than nothing.

So, if good health is of high value to you in your life, is spending £30-£40 per month impossible?

I'm also talking to those people who come to me initially because of pain, and then they don't come back until the pain comes back. At first thought, when they didn't come back for their regular monthly adjustments (when I told them it's important for their bodies to continue to stay strong and well), I assumed they didn't like me anymore. I took it personally. 

But then when they called me a few months later and said, "I'm in agony. Please can I get adjusted?" That makes me realize that there's something else running the show.

In this case, it's not about the money, because when the pain comes back, it's usually worse than before, and the amount of adjustments needed exceeds the number of months in between the first and next time they visit my practice. So they end up paying more money. 

My view is, if people really knew how powerful just one adjustment is, they'd take time, energy, and their money to continue getting adjusted on a regular basis.

But, I also do recognise that this goes back to my original curiosity. Some people just don't agree with me. They don't think that chiropractic care is important. I understand that. I'm not expecting everyone to agree with me. That's the beauty in conversation.

What I understood from that thread on my Facebook page, people think that chiropractic is, at best, pain relief, and at worst, very dangerous.

It's an ongoing conversation I  have with people. And as the internet doesn't fail, one can find just about anything to support or refute anything we love.

So, what is it really about? 

The bottom line for me is that all I want to do is help people. I know how amazing chiropractic is, and how it can transform someone's life. I've seen it happen over and over again. My mission is to tell people and teach people more and more about chiropractic. 

For me, it's not an argument or debate. It's about purpose and my passion of what I do. I love people. I see greatness in people. Chiropractic is my vehicle in facilitating a person to finding the extraordinary in themselves.

Those obstacles of people's opinions and understanding of chiropractic will always be in front of me, but, I just keep going.

I'll keep helping people through chiropractic.

— Dr MaryAnne

 

 

 

Moms and CEOs

Generally, moms in the household run the show.

The other day during one of my training sessions with my training group, we were discussing how it's the moms who run the household.

(We're all women in the group.)

There were certain theories about that.

No one could point to the real reason why.

Or, we just all couldn't agree on the best answer.

My theory is based on the different brains that men and women have.

(Or if one person's brain is more female than male.)

It's all about the neurology of the person.

It's well known that women's brains use more synapses that cross the hemispheres.

When men use their brains, there are fewer synapses crossing the hemispheres, and more synapses in just one side.

Which leads me to my theory about women doing more jobs.

We have what is called 'diffuse awareness'. 

Men are single-focused.

Jobs and activities at home on the domestic front are often chaotic, and there's a plethora of things to do and to get done.

Kids are running around everywhere.

Laundry needs to get done.

The cat needs to be fed.

Dinner needs to be prepared (what the hell do I cook for dinner tonight).

And the list goes on and on.

Women are generally better are assessing and tackling these jobs at the same time.

Men need to do one thing at a time.

Of course, I'm generalising, but ask any woman and most of the time, she'll explain that she's the one who manages the household.

I don't even bother telling my husband what's happening until the morning of.

And when the kids are on a school break, I tell him, 

"Oh, by the way honey, it's half-term."

He looks at me with big open eyes like it's fresh news to him and he had no idea, let alone was it even on his radar of need-to-know-knowledge,

"Oh? Is it? Ok. What are you doing with them?"

(sigh)

Anyway, are moms the CEOs?

Well, however it is in your household, here's something you can listen to when you're next taking out the trash or doing the dishes.

It's my newest podcast episode.

My guest and I talk about how mothers are leaders, just like the CEOs of the world.

It's a great episode, very illuminating!

Listen on iTunes or on my "You're Doing Great Mom" website.

Be sure to subscribe and write a review! I'd be very grateful!

Thanks!

— Dr MaryAnne

 

Sometimes you just gotta boogie down, baby

Yesterday's email was all good and heartfelt.

Actually, I felt a little vulnerable there, to be totally honest with you.

A lot of my friends commented on my blog post about being broody by saying,

"Go for it. Have another baby!"

No way.

Anyway, that wasn't the point of the message.

I want to put more energy into my family.

My fun and crazy kids.

My husband.

And all the stress, joy, chaos, and spontaneity about it all!

Time to embrace it more!

I know that in about 30 years I'll be exhaling in joy, so proud and happy that I took this time to be fully present with my brood.

I know it'll all be worth it.

When I first became a mother 11.5 years ago, I had a really hard time going through the change from being such a career-driven woman, in New York City, always thinking about me, me, me, into being a new mother and experiencing such a new reality with a tiny human being.

It was hard.

And really uncomfortable.

I didn't like it.

But I knew in my heart this is what I wanted to do.

Now, I'm overwhelmed with the same drive, the same motivation to make some changes.

Change.

Some very physical and concrete: a huge house renovation, which will require us to move out temporarily so the builders can get in there and get it done.

We'll be living in a small flat during this time.

The five of us.

What could go wrong?

Five very big and loud people who like to demand space and their presence to be known.

I find myself stepping into a familiar feeling of discomfort.

I'm really uncomfortable.

And I'm not liking it.

Thoughts of doubt are creeping in. 

Thinking of the unknown.

How am I going to get through this?

The feeling of instability is very scary.

It's like a huge stretch and I don't think I can bend anymore.

Still, I'm standing my ground, remembering my purpose, my love for my kids, and how this time will bring me to a new place of freedom and joy in my life because I know it's what I want.

And that's the key. 

I WANT so many things in life, and sometimes to get there, to be that person, well, it takes a little instability and stretching along the way.

So I stick to what I know works best for me.

Eating well.

Sleeping well.

Exercising regularly.

Getting adjusted every week.

Creating my structure and sticking to it.

Choosing to do things that make me happy, and not feel guilty about it.

And, for me, it also doesn't hurt to have a nice glass of red wine every now and then.

Today, I've spent a big chunk of time doing things for my practice (like writing this to you guys).

Admin.

Organising notes.

And in between my thoughts I've been pausing to blast some good tunes, get up, and dance for 10 minutes just to get the blood to flow.

It feels good.

Gotta keep following my heart and passion. Stay on the path!

See you soon at your next adjustment!

Stay on YOUR path!

— Dr MaryAnne




 

I am broody

Many friends of mine tell me that I should have a fourth.

Baby, that is.

Another one?

Nope.

I'm done.

In fact, when I was preggers with my third child (who just turned six, by the way), I had a very direct and concrete feeling that I did NOT want to have another.

I was crystal clear DONE at three.

BUT.

There's an ongoing problem.

In my line of work, seeing many newborns regularly, holding them, adjusting them - it really messes with my head. 

And heart.

And my ovaries.

But again, when I think about having another newborn, I quickly snap out of it (most of the time) and land back on the ground.

Reality.

This really tested me though over the summer holidays.

I took a lot of time off to be with my family, driving out to France, frolicking on the beach and ocean in the Atlantic, drinking lots of wine, and eating lots of cheese and French baguettes. 

What more could a girl want?

Yum.

Anyway, my last trip wasn't REALLY a holiday. Well, it was, but the main purpose was to help my sister.

I was her birth partner.

For those of you who have had a baby, you know that the last couple weeks of pregnancy, especially if you have a two-year-old running around, it's so exhausting. 

Just take my word for it.

So I was there to help out my sister at the end of her pregnancy while we waited for her to go into labour.

And just as I predicated, she went into labour in the middle of my stay with her. 

Very convenient.

And she went into labour at a very sensible hour right after we all woke up in the morning.

Labour was quick, easy-peasy, and she gave birth to healthy hefty baby boy.

Then I finally got to hold him.

After all that time waiting!

And then the broodiness kicked in.

Oh boy.

He was so delicious to hold and snuggle with. 

Newborns are magical.

One of the most common things we think about when holding a brand new baby, just a couple hours old, is trying to comprehend that this baby was JUST inside another human being living and growing.

That never ceases to amaze me.

And these newborns hold so much purity and potential inside of them.  

That's what they smell like!

I had about nine more days with my sister to help her with her new baby, and I really savoured every minute with them.

(Her husband threatened to kidnap me because I was such a huge help in keeping the baby from crying.)

As the days went by being around my sister's family that went from three to four, I also missed my crazy gang back home.

My kids are much older than my sister's and it's like a whole other stage that I'm in with them.

Yet, it's bittersweet.

Each time I held my sister's baby (or played with her two-year-old), a new feeling came over me stronger and stronger, realising something.

It's the concept that we parents get told by our elders all the time:

"They grow too fast."

Of course, conceptually, it's easy to understand.

And I see it before my eyes with my own children.

But it never hit me the way it did while being away from my kids for over two weeks.

I knew that each day my children were growing and changing, just like all kids, and I was missing those moments.

I wasn't there to do all the things that I normally take for granted.

As mothers, we feel like we're running on a hamster wheel just pushing along trying to keep everyone happy, managing schedules, dinner, laundry, friends, our partners, our relationships.

And it goes on and on, every day.

Being away from my children for 16 days, AND being with my sister's family gave me the opportunity to see things from a completely different perspective. One that made me feel nostalgic knowing what my sister was going through with two children and adapting to everything, as well as another perspective making me see how every single minute of our babies' lives are opportunities to make them feel loved, appreciated, and secure.

When I came home last week, I was able to hug my kids with that new perspective, cherishing so much more how grateful I am that I have them, and that they are who they are, happy and healthy.

NOW I get the concept fully in a renewed way, so much so that I've taken more time to be with them, rather than constantly try to find some of my own free time.

One day I'll be 85, and I definitely don't want to find myself sitting there alone, in my favourite comfortable chair feeling regret about my children, wishing that I had spent more time with them.

I'll never get these days back.

Even now my memory is skittish, not remembering certain moments of my children's lives. Those little detailed things I did like how I potty trained my daughter, or when did they first sleep through the night.

Now I know that I don't want to miss anything.

My eyes have opened.

Which is why I've changed my time and schedule in my practice to fewer hours in order to put my family fully as a priority.

(Don't worry, I'm still adjusting and I can't wait to adjust you all!)

I know at times when the kids are driving me crazy I'll think, "What was I thinking?" I'll want to get away and escape.

But, the difference is that I'll realise that this moment, right now, I get to hug my children more and anytime I want when I spend more time with them.

And when I'm 85, I'll think back and say to myself, "It was alllll worth it."

(Be sure to keep checking my schedule to book yourself in for your next adjustment.)

— Dr MaryAnne