happiness

How not to get divorced

A topic that really fascinates me is marriage.

Overall, it's the art and science of relationships that keep my mind busy.

My twelfth anniversary is next week, so I've been thinking about this more these days.

Why does one couple who is crazy, coo-coo-for-coco-puffs in love when married, and seven to ten years later, they divorce?

Or, two people who have never met one another are arranged to be married together, and then learn to love one another making it work for 30+ years together?

I've read books about this topic, listened to podcasts, spoken to many people, as well as heard about what old married people say.

My parents have this spectacular love story.

They met in Tokyo.

My traditional and Catholic French mother decided to go off the beaten path and moved to Tokyo to teach French in a primary school.

My Japanese and academic geeky dad was working in that same school as the head of the French department.

For him, it was love at first sight.

(It wasn't often that there were caucasian busty young women in Tokyo back then.)

For her, it wasn't exactly that, but maybe because her strict French father ordered her NOT to bring home a Japanese man.

(She didn't do as she was told.)

A few years later, they got married, moved to the South of France, and had my brother and then me.

When I was nearly two, we all moved to New York, and my parents had two more children.

They raised us with an abundance of love, always being there with us, teaching us many things directly and indirectly coming from different cultures and backgrounds.

In fact, nearly every day, we had a mix of French and Japanese cuisine.

French was spoken in the household, and we were a family with a fusion of three different cultures mixed together.

Overall, I had a wonderful and loving childhood.

(My older brother beat me up all the time, but I got through it, and now I'm a tough gal.)

Fast forward to 1998, my parents suddenly decided to separate, and eventually got divorced.

It was like the classic case of 'last child leaves the household, and one day they woke up, looked at each other and had no idea who the other person was'.

For the next 7 years, they stayed mostly amicably together, especially during Christmas when we all got together.

All six of us.

In fact, it was like nothing changed.

Then after eight years of living separate lives, they got back together, and remarried.

Crazy story.

Amazing story.

They're such a cute old couple now.

The eight years apart was a blessing to their relationship.

Every time I think about their story, thinking back to my childhood, how they were as parents, wondering how they made it through all the tough times, it leads me to think what they've done to CHOOSE to be with one another.

This is what I've come up with:

  1. Respect one another.
  2. Don't sweat the small stuff.
  3. Accept that it's not about who's right and who's wrong.
  4. Learn that your happiness isn't their responsibility. It's yours.
  5. Be the first one to say sorry.
  6. Consider that you will always learn something new about them every day, every week, every month, or every year.
  7. Your expectation of how you want to be loved is probably not the same way they want to be loved. (The Five Languages of Love)
  8. If you feel resentment or contempt, do something about that and clear it up.
  9. Learn to laugh and joke with each other, especially when you've recently had an arguement.
  10. Constantly tell them "I love you" because conversations 'disappear'.


There's more, but that's the bulk of it.

Nearly every day, I strive to be as great as them in every area of my life as a wife and a mother. 

And now, I'm paying it back. 

To them.

To my siblings.

To my husband.

To my kids.

To my friends.

To my community.

To my practice members.

And to the rest of the world to make a difference.

Chiropractic is also a huge component of that.

I want to do big big things in my life, and coming around to my 12th year of marriage, I've learned so much.

I'm at a secure and expansive point in my life, and I owe so much of it to my parents, and my philosophy with chiropractic.

My gratefulness is enormous.

Thank you.

In love and expansion,

— Dr MaryAnne

A lil' sumthin sumthin

I used to live in Queens, New York when I was little.

That was about forty years ago (holy moley, that sounds like ages ago).

I remember once, when I was about 7 years old, being with my friend playing at our school playground, and some boys were bothering us.

You could say they were being bullies, but at the time, I just thought they were trouble makers.
 
They wouldn't stop calling us names, annoying us, and trying to be tough.

Then, they started chasing us.

I remember feeling scared, not knowing what I did to make them do this, and were they intending on hurting us?

I hated that feeling of fear.

I remember at one point I was running, trying to get away, feeling terrified, and then suddenly, something came over me.

I think my thoughts were saying, "This-is-crazy-I-don't-like-this-I-feel-so-scared-and-threathened-make-this-situation-stop-what-can-I-do"

And I just stopped running.

Then I turned around, held my arm and hand out signalling for them to stop.

They just stopped in their tracks.

I just stood my ground, breathing out of breath from all the running, and said something like,

"Listen, why are you chasing us? Wouldn't it be better if we all got along, worked something out? We can be friends. I think we could be friends."

You know what?

Just like that, the kids shrugged their shoulders, and just like that said, "OK."

I remember thinking, "Whoa, I did not expect THAT outcome."

In fact, I had no idea what would happen.

My adrenalin was pumping and flooding my body, I probably would have been able to pick up a car.

My fear had turned into action. 

Action to create solutions.

To connect with people.

Find that lil' sumthin sumthin.

It was like a snap and the boys switched from attackers to our friends.

I called my other friend who was way down the street by then, and we all just worked something out.

I think I've always had the natural sense of, "This person is nice. He has love and greatness in him too."

Even at the age of seven.

That's how I've always been.

I always see the greatness in people.

Love is there.

In all humans.

That's how I approach everyone. 

Or at least, that's how I want to be.

Somehow, innately and intuitively, when I was a little girl I accessed that desire to connect with people and speak into their side of love and greatness.

I'm happy I never lost that.

That's what I bring into my practice every day with everyone, all the time.

That's why I love adjusting people.

I love it.

Greatness and love.

To me, it's awesomeness.

— Dr MaryAnne

 

I have been waiting and waiting for these results

I feel like I'm the most patient person in the world.

You have to be if you take this exam.

Because the guy who tests you is the founder of the technique.

Network Spinal Analysis.

This guy (who happens to be a genius) created NSA, and is still developing this technique since the early 1980s.

He's very weird.

And he's amazing.

But he sucks at timing.

Plus, he's very busy.

So I kinda understand.

He flies all over the world teaching his technique to chiropractors, holding seminars, educating people about everything his minds conjures up.

And it's super strange shit.

But it's also brilliantly cool.

Only chiropractic students and chiropractors are 'allowed' to learn this technique.

There are three 'parts' in which to get certified.

(Parts 1, 2, and 3 for full certification.)

I had taken and passed Parts 1 & 2 years ago.

Finally, because of time and scheduling issues, I was able to sit the practical Part 3, the final certification level.

About four years ago, I wanted to take this exam. 

But he said to me, "You're not ready."

And he was right.

I wasn't ready. 

I probably would have failed if I took it then.

Failing isn't a bad thing.

I think failing sets you up for more opportunity to learn.

Nevertheless, I didn't take it then.

So, finally, I felt ready last year, and the exam was only offered in November.

It's rumoured that you have to wait a few months to find out your results, so once the test is taken, you just know you have to wait.

But I didn't realise I'd have to wait past January.

February crept up.

I contacted the NSA offices.

"Hi, I took Part 3 in November. Any chance you could let me know when I'd get my results back please?"

"Sure. You should hear back in a few weeks."

March comes around.

Nothing.

I'm getting more and more tense.

It's on my mind nearly every day.

I check my email hoping for some news.

I check my home mail for a certificate or something to tell me.

Nothing.

So I send more emails.

"You should hear very very soon."

I know. I was warned that it's a long wait.

Still. 

That doesn't necessarily make it easier.

It's April.

Now, after a back and forth through emails, how much longer can I wait?

Finally.

I got the email last night.

BOOM.

(An huge exhale, a big smile, PHEW, and a great night's sleep.)

The wait was worth it.

 

He drops f-bombs in this one, but it's a good one

Tony Robbins is everywhere these days.

He just released his latest book, Unshakeable: Your Guide to Financial Freedom.

I just bought it. 

(But I gave it to my husband to read first so when it's my turn, I can ask him to explain some of the parts about investing because all that financial industry stuff is like Chinese to me. I'm half Japanese. I don't understand Chinese.)

Tony has been doing his rounds, going on podcasts like here, here, here, and here.

And here.

Yeah, he's been pretty busy.

He's always busy.

Honestly, I've never been to any of his seminars, but I have a lot of friends who've been. 

Also, a lot of people who contact me for Network Spinal Analysis care ask me about it because they listened to Tony talk about it and heard that NSA is incredibly helpful.

For so many things.

In this video during one of his seminars, he introduces Donny Epstein, the founder and developer of NSA, and talks about how Tony first met him.

It's a funny clip.

(Be wary - it's NSFW. Lot of f-bombs all over the place.)

Now, Tony and Donny are good friends. And wherever Tony goes in the world, he has an NSA doctor come to adjust him so he's in top form.

I tell people over and over again, chiropractic isn't just for pain relief.

It's great for pain relief.

But that's only the tip of the iceberg.

Chiropractic, specifically Network Spinal Analysis is about helping your body be the best it can be.

Tony Robbins' whole purpose in life is to help and coach people to achieve and have their best lives possible.

And he is a huge proponent of NSA. 

I see the amazing results people get from it, and I love watching their lives transform because of it.

It's amazing.

The smartest thing to do is once you start seeing the results, get your family to have regular care with you too.

Get your friends to start care.

Imagine not only you having these great results, but everyone around you in your life having these awesome kick-ass results.

Who wouldn't want that!?

So get your butt in here and get adjusted!

See you soon!

— Dr MaryAnne