My husband and I had a spat

I am by no means an expert on marriage.

On our wedding day, my husband's father who sat across from me at the table (we had a very small wedding), leaned in and said to me, 

"You are the bravest woman I know."

I knew exactly what he meant.

He was telling me that his son is a difficult one. 



And I guess his father was complimenting me?

Anyway, here we are, thirteen years later, and I fully understand what he meant.

Marriage isn't easy.

And I'm sure many parents would see themselves saying to their son/daughter-in-law how brave they are for marrying their offspring.

Nevertheless, he was right.

I did marry a man who is quirky, highly-intelligent, and, well, difficult.

Or shall I say, challenging?

Aren't we all challenging to our partners in our own way?

Isn't marriage extremely challenging?

I knew my husband and I had a lot going for us, but I also knew that he and I are very different.

Specifically in the area of health and exercise.

My British husband loves meat, preferably high in fat like pork or steak. He also loves anything potato. Chips, fries, mashed, baked, boiled. A typical British meal.


Oh, and he loves his beer.

And wine.

And port.

Especially port. (He wrote a huge book on it, so I'd say he's into port a bit.)

In our household and among friends, when we say, "there is a crisis" we know exactly what it means.

Crisis goes away when an alcoholic beverage enters his hand.

Anyway, last weekend we were away with some close friends, another couple also with children the same age as ours.

Over dinner we got into a discussion about eating healthier and losing weight.

(Isn't that what every middle-aged adult talks about these days?)

My husband is a self-professed "fat-middle-aged-bastard" (his words, not mine).

And he just turned 49.

So, this discussion about losing weight for the sake of being healthier was about making big changes in what he eats to get results:

Weight loss.

But, his issue was that once the weight comes off, let's say for example after 6 months of being good eating a clean diet and much less alcohol, inevitably he'll go back to his old habits and gain all the weight back. 

So what's the point?

What I understood is that he doesn't want to have to continue his 'new' diet forever and live miserably hating that he can't enjoy all the food and drink he wants.


But I told him I don't buy it.

The bottom line is that in health and getting older, there comes a point where you either keep going the way you're going, notice how you feel like shyt and look like shyt (with lab results telling you that you are indeed NOT healthy),

OR, you can face the reality that one must suck it up, make some changes, and gradually create new habits in order to improve the state of your health.

Gradual steps.

During our debate (which got pretty heated and turned into a marital spat with our friends referee-ing the whole thing), I was definitely being bitchy.

I admit.

But in the area of health, especially that of a loved one, I'm going to bring on the tough love.

Well, I'm very happy to report that my hubby has started making these changes in his diet and it's already working.

I can see a difference.

Men like results.

And what he's doing is causing positive results.


Happiness in the marital arena!

We're getting somewhere.

Small steps now for a big happy future later, right?

There you have it.

Listen, I'm a tough bitch when it comes to people's health. I will stand by and fight tooth and nail to help someone be just a little bit healthier.

You can count on that, baby.

Now book your next adjustment!

See you soon.

— Dr MaryAnne