wine

Husbandly Drunkenness

This post is about husbandly drunkenness.

But before we get to the booze, the arguing, the complaining about small portions, and the snoring, we have to get to the more snore-worthy matter of privacy.

Oh my God!

I’ve had a 100 emails about this, and this post might be your 101st.

Broadly, there is an ‘Unsubscribe’ button at the end of each email. It does what it says on the tin: goes to MailChimp which will then automagically unsubscribe you.

And it happens without my having to do anything (easy-peasy!).

Please, to unsubscribe from the emails, click ‘Unsubscribe’. 

And if you don’t, then you haven’t, and MailChimp won’t.

The End.

So, the husband is complaining about a shortage of husbandly drunkenness. “A grave deficit”, he says, emphasising the middle word in a thirsty gravel.

Is this justified?

Does your husband complain about such an undersupply? And men, do you complain to your wives (and in a few cases, husbands) about the global husbandly-drunkenness shortfall?

What should the UN do about it? 

(’Cause sure as biscuits, Donald Trump isn’t going to help.)

See you at your next adjustment!

— Dr MaryAnne

She thought she was cheating on me

I’m having an affair!

One of my long-term lovely wonderful practice members said that to me recently.

"I didn't know what to say to you. I feel like I'm having an affair. I'm cheating on you!"

She was in with her 6-week-old baby for their weekly adjustment.

"Oh, I feel so bad!"

Yup. She was serious.

I could tell that she genuinely felt bad.

"I'm taking her to the osteopath next week."

OMG.

WHAT?

That's what she feels bad about?

"Oh don't be silly," is what I said back to her.

I can understand her feelings because she's been coming to see me for her adjustments way back when she was pregnant with her first child.

With all my long-term practice members, it's an honour and a joy to adjust people for such an extended period of time.

That's the practice I've built.

Family Wellness.

For life.

That's what it's all about.

And I also know that there are many other experts that are excellent and able to help many people as well.

Including osteopaths.

Most of the osteopaths I've met are great.

They see many babies as well and they do similar things that I do.

That's because the practices are quite similar.

It's important to do what you think and feel is best for yourself and your children.

Who I am is just another expert who will always serve you and give the best care, advice, and support possible.

People ask me questions all the time, and I will always asses the situation and give my best most knowledgable advice possible.

If I don't know the answer, then I'll say, "I don't know."

My practice member wasn't cheating on me. 

No affair happening here.

Plus, she was being honest! 

That's not having an affair.

She didn't even go to the other expert yet, so no affair even happened!

The bottom line is, if chiropractic care helps your life and health, and you choose me, then I'll always be available to help and serve you with the best of my abilities.

My passion and mission is to help as many babies, children, and families to live their most healthy and extraordinary lives.

I believe that chiropractic care is a huge component of achieving that.

Osteopathy, massage, physiotherapy, acupuncture, or other body healing modalities all play a part in helping achieve health, too.

It's how and what you find to help your body heal itself, where it's designed to reorganise to higher levels of health.

Chiropractic will always be a part of my life for me, for my health as well as my family's.

I definitely need other expert help to keep me energised and fully functional.

And I also have a much-loved one that brings me a whole lotta pleasure 3-4 times a week:

Red wine!

Cheers!

See you at your next adjustment!

— Dr MaryAnne

 

Do as I say, not as I do. Mostly.

I like comfort food. 

And red wine.

Sometimes I need them badly.

Like tonight.

Here's a picture of me really pissed off at my husband taking my picture over dinner.

 

 

Here are the other two just before that moment.

This one:

 

 

And this one:
 

IMG_2371.jpg

 

Let's rewind a few hours more so I can explain.

You see, it was my 8-year-old son's birthday party today.

Everyone was all very excited.

I was even proud of myself for being so on top of things, being organised, as I had booked everything way in advance for this party.

(We even had my daughter's birthday party the day before! Actually, that probably just shows how insane I am. Why do I do this to myself?)

Thirty minutes before the party was supposed to start, my phone rings.

It was the Go Kart company.

"Uh, hi MaryAnne. This is ___ from the Go Karts. Yeah - we, um, can't get into the school grounds. No one is letting us in. Not sure if anyone is here."

Oh shhhhit.

I suddenly had a BAD feeling about this.

"OH. OK. I'm almost there. I'll meet you and hopefully we'll get in."

Twenty minutes later, we arrive, and they are still waiting outside the gate, unable to get in. 

No one is 'home'.

Double shit.

After about an hour of waiting and trying to work something out with a security person, we realise the best thing to do is just leave.

Nothing could be done.

Go Karts go home (they were very understanding about the situation).

So I made the instantaneous decision that we bring the party to my house.

Triple shit.

14 children in my house.

Do I need to keep telling you the story?

Do the photos explain why I had an empty glass of wine, some sweet potato chips, with mayo and ketchup in front of me?

Yes, this evening, after everyone was gone, I was stuffing my face and trying to numb myself silly.

What a day.

It actually all turned out fine.

The no-show at the venue turned out to be the worst thing that happened, luckily.

The kids all had a blast.

The cake was stellar and delicious. 

(Chocolate cake with chocolate buttercream frosting. So good. The whole thing was devoured in minutes.)

And best of all, my son was happy as a pig in shit.

He loved it.

Phew!

Now on to my preparations for my week to follow.

Who am I adjusting this week?

Are you getting an adjustment?

You bet I certainly am!

After a weekend like this one, I need at least 2!

What about you?

See you soon - book your adjustment tonight!

— Dr MaryAnne

Space cakes might be interesting for my marriage

The last time my husband and I went away alone on a trip together was four years ago to the Isle of Skye.

In December.

We had a blast.

It was one of the best trips I've had with him.

At the time, my youngest was still a baby, I was still breastfeeding, and I was full-on bewbs deep in mummyland.

Going away with my hubby with no kids for 4 days sounded so alien to me.

Spending time with him alone, without the kids screaming and yelling, "Mummy! Mummy!" was so transformative!

Seriously!

What happened on this trip was unexpected.

Being able to wake up whenever, decide what to do whenever, and to eat whatever, whenever was so liberating.

It actually helped rekindle my love for my husband.

The light was shown onto him and revealed to me, "Oh! THIS is the guy you married! That's HIM!"

Yeah. It's been a while.

This week we're finally going away together again.

I. Am. So. Looking. Forward. To. It.

This time it's in Amsterdam.

When I tell people where I'm going, they tell me to take it easy on the space cakes.

(Hehe.)

That'll be something new. 

Because I've never been to Amsterdam before.

This whole trip is just what my husband and I need to do a marriage [software] update!

Somehow when we go away together, I feel young again.

The fun and flirty me kicks in, and I just feel like it's back when we first met.

That's so important in a marriage, because we all know that long-term relationships are damn hard.

Taking action and creating love, fun, and passion in my relationship is super important to me, my health, my happiness, and my life.

When I feel beautiful and in love with my husband, my fun and free femininity comes out. 

Things just HAPPEN. 

Like, amazing things.

Wonderful things.

That's why I have to do this.

It's a necessity for me in my life.

It fuels me and brings me joy, and helps me reset all my purpose in life and why I do what I do for myself, my kids, my husband, my family, and the people I adjust in my practice.

All of it.

So, have a great week. 

Book yourself in for a fabulous massage while I'm gone!

The practice is still open and happy to help you relax with Darren and Ana, my extraordinary massage therapists!

See you on Saturday the 25th when I return!

— Dr MaryAnne