male psychology

I want to understand more

You know that question kids like to answer, 

If you were to have one superhero power, what would it be?

Well, my super power would be to know exactly how people think, their beliefs, their values, and how they make their life choices. This kind of thing fascinates me. I'm always trying to figure out someone's thought process. 

This day and age, there are a lot of things to have an opinion about. There are so many things to keep us busy. There's really no reason for any of us to be bored. At the same time, with everything that's out there, there are so many different choices and lifestyles, we find so many people in so many 'camps'.

Liberal or Conservative?

Vegan or Paleo?

Masculine or Feminine?

Natural or Synthetic?

Fast food or Organic?

Running or Yoga?

Breastmilk or Formula?

Chiropractic or Medicine?

There's just so much out there. The lists goes on and on. And everybody's got an opinion about it.

I wanna know where and how and why people get their opinions and beliefs. Are people able to explore the 'other' side objectively? Can people hear other ideas and thoughts? Why are we so resistant to change? Why do people get so offended?

Recently I posted a question on my Facebook page about getting adjusted regularly. It became a threadhole of different opinions about why some people don't get chiropractic adjustments.

How do people not get regular chiropractic adjustments?

My motivation for the question was to understand and know what other people do if they've never gotten an adjustment. I suppose I could have elaborated on the question to help people understand where I was coming from. 

I've been getting adjusted since I was about 11-years-old. So, for the most part, I don't know what it's like NOT getting adjusted. It's been a part of my lifestyle for all this time, and it works for me. When I asked the question, I genuinely wanted to know what people do to stay healthy and feel good. I also wanted to know about those people who did indeed get adjusted in the past, but didn't continue. There were many views.

For the people who didn't continue, their answer was simple and understanding. They didn't have a good experience and never went to another one.

End of.

Most people answered that it's all about being able to afford regular chiropractic care.

Some of my colleagues out there didn't buy that answer. 

I agree.

Saying that you can't afford the regular chiropractic adjustments is baloney to me.

Please, stay with me. Lemme explain.

A large majority of people who come in to see me do so because they are in pain. 

They hurt.

They want to know why.

But the bottom line is, they want the pain to go away.

I tell people time and time again that pain is not the problem. The problem is the problem. But human beings don't automatically think of it that way. People feel pain, react, and then do something to make the pain go away.

But the 'something' is usually a drug or a massage, or they think it's because they slept wrong and eventually, the pain will go away on its own.

When someone comes in to see me, they expect me to 'fix' it and make the pain go away.

It doesn't work that way.

But, for argument's sake, let's go with this.

Most of the time, a series of chiropractic adjustments is very effective in 'making the pain go away'. 

Yes, that initial series is a certain amount of money.

But, once the pain goes away, assuming you're not going to do anything stupid like eat crap food every day, drink loads every day, stay up all night, and treat your body like it's a punching bag, you can actually improve your health and state of discomfort greatly by just making a few changes gradually.

(Just because you get older every year, doesn't mean that your health is supposed to get worse and worse.)

Once the pain goes away, it's MUCH easier to keep the pain away doing good things for your body and mind than to deal with damage control of severe debilitating pain.

Consider that part of that good routine includes regular chiropractic adjustments twice a month. 

And if money is an issue, an adjustment once a month is way better than nothing.

So, if good health is of high value to you in your life, is spending £30-£40 per month impossible?

I'm also talking to those people who come to me initially because of pain, and then they don't come back until the pain comes back. At first thought, when they didn't come back for their regular monthly adjustments (when I told them it's important for their bodies to continue to stay strong and well), I assumed they didn't like me anymore. I took it personally. 

But then when they called me a few months later and said, "I'm in agony. Please can I get adjusted?" That makes me realize that there's something else running the show.

In this case, it's not about the money, because when the pain comes back, it's usually worse than before, and the amount of adjustments needed exceeds the number of months in between the first and next time they visit my practice. So they end up paying more money. 

My view is, if people really knew how powerful just one adjustment is, they'd take time, energy, and their money to continue getting adjusted on a regular basis.

But, I also do recognise that this goes back to my original curiosity. Some people just don't agree with me. They don't think that chiropractic care is important. I understand that. I'm not expecting everyone to agree with me. That's the beauty in conversation.

What I understood from that thread on my Facebook page, people think that chiropractic is, at best, pain relief, and at worst, very dangerous.

It's an ongoing conversation I  have with people. And as the internet doesn't fail, one can find just about anything to support or refute anything we love.

So, what is it really about? 

The bottom line for me is that all I want to do is help people. I know how amazing chiropractic is, and how it can transform someone's life. I've seen it happen over and over again. My mission is to tell people and teach people more and more about chiropractic. 

For me, it's not an argument or debate. It's about purpose and my passion of what I do. I love people. I see greatness in people. Chiropractic is my vehicle in facilitating a person to finding the extraordinary in themselves.

Those obstacles of people's opinions and understanding of chiropractic will always be in front of me, but, I just keep going.

I'll keep helping people through chiropractic.

— Dr MaryAnne

 

 

 

Moms and CEOs

Generally, moms in the household run the show.

The other day during one of my training sessions with my training group, we were discussing how it's the moms who run the household.

(We're all women in the group.)

There were certain theories about that.

No one could point to the real reason why.

Or, we just all couldn't agree on the best answer.

My theory is based on the different brains that men and women have.

(Or if one person's brain is more female than male.)

It's all about the neurology of the person.

It's well known that women's brains use more synapses that cross the hemispheres.

When men use their brains, there are fewer synapses crossing the hemispheres, and more synapses in just one side.

Which leads me to my theory about women doing more jobs.

We have what is called 'diffuse awareness'. 

Men are single-focused.

Jobs and activities at home on the domestic front are often chaotic, and there's a plethora of things to do and to get done.

Kids are running around everywhere.

Laundry needs to get done.

The cat needs to be fed.

Dinner needs to be prepared (what the hell do I cook for dinner tonight).

And the list goes on and on.

Women are generally better are assessing and tackling these jobs at the same time.

Men need to do one thing at a time.

Of course, I'm generalising, but ask any woman and most of the time, she'll explain that she's the one who manages the household.

I don't even bother telling my husband what's happening until the morning of.

And when the kids are on a school break, I tell him, 

"Oh, by the way honey, it's half-term."

He looks at me with big open eyes like it's fresh news to him and he had no idea, let alone was it even on his radar of need-to-know-knowledge,

"Oh? Is it? Ok. What are you doing with them?"

(sigh)

Anyway, are moms the CEOs?

Well, however it is in your household, here's something you can listen to when you're next taking out the trash or doing the dishes.

It's my newest podcast episode.

My guest and I talk about how mothers are leaders, just like the CEOs of the world.

It's a great episode, very illuminating!

Listen on iTunes or on my "You're Doing Great Mom" website.

Be sure to subscribe and write a review! I'd be very grateful!

Thanks!

— Dr MaryAnne

 

How not to get divorced

A topic that really fascinates me is marriage.

Overall, it's the art and science of relationships that keep my mind busy.

My twelfth anniversary is next week, so I've been thinking about this more these days.

Why does one couple who is crazy, coo-coo-for-coco-puffs in love when married, and seven to ten years later, they divorce?

Or, two people who have never met one another are arranged to be married together, and then learn to love one another making it work for 30+ years together?

I've read books about this topic, listened to podcasts, spoken to many people, as well as heard about what old married people say.

My parents have this spectacular love story.

They met in Tokyo.

My traditional and Catholic French mother decided to go off the beaten path and moved to Tokyo to teach French in a primary school.

My Japanese and academic geeky dad was working in that same school as the head of the French department.

For him, it was love at first sight.

(It wasn't often that there were caucasian busty young women in Tokyo back then.)

For her, it wasn't exactly that, but maybe because her strict French father ordered her NOT to bring home a Japanese man.

(She didn't do as she was told.)

A few years later, they got married, moved to the South of France, and had my brother and then me.

When I was nearly two, we all moved to New York, and my parents had two more children.

They raised us with an abundance of love, always being there with us, teaching us many things directly and indirectly coming from different cultures and backgrounds.

In fact, nearly every day, we had a mix of French and Japanese cuisine.

French was spoken in the household, and we were a family with a fusion of three different cultures mixed together.

Overall, I had a wonderful and loving childhood.

(My older brother beat me up all the time, but I got through it, and now I'm a tough gal.)

Fast forward to 1998, my parents suddenly decided to separate, and eventually got divorced.

It was like the classic case of 'last child leaves the household, and one day they woke up, looked at each other and had no idea who the other person was'.

For the next 7 years, they stayed mostly amicably together, especially during Christmas when we all got together.

All six of us.

In fact, it was like nothing changed.

Then after eight years of living separate lives, they got back together, and remarried.

Crazy story.

Amazing story.

They're such a cute old couple now.

The eight years apart was a blessing to their relationship.

Every time I think about their story, thinking back to my childhood, how they were as parents, wondering how they made it through all the tough times, it leads me to think what they've done to CHOOSE to be with one another.

This is what I've come up with:

  1. Respect one another.
  2. Don't sweat the small stuff.
  3. Accept that it's not about who's right and who's wrong.
  4. Learn that your happiness isn't their responsibility. It's yours.
  5. Be the first one to say sorry.
  6. Consider that you will always learn something new about them every day, every week, every month, or every year.
  7. Your expectation of how you want to be loved is probably not the same way they want to be loved. (The Five Languages of Love)
  8. If you feel resentment or contempt, do something about that and clear it up.
  9. Learn to laugh and joke with each other, especially when you've recently had an arguement.
  10. Constantly tell them "I love you" because conversations 'disappear'.


There's more, but that's the bulk of it.

Nearly every day, I strive to be as great as them in every area of my life as a wife and a mother. 

And now, I'm paying it back. 

To them.

To my siblings.

To my husband.

To my kids.

To my friends.

To my community.

To my practice members.

And to the rest of the world to make a difference.

Chiropractic is also a huge component of that.

I want to do big big things in my life, and coming around to my 12th year of marriage, I've learned so much.

I'm at a secure and expansive point in my life, and I owe so much of it to my parents, and my philosophy with chiropractic.

My gratefulness is enormous.

Thank you.

In love and expansion,

— Dr MaryAnne

They think you're stupid

They think you're stupid

No one can decide who you are and what you should do and who you can be. Only you can.

He drops f-bombs in this one, but it's a good one

Tony Robbins is everywhere these days.

He just released his latest book, Unshakeable: Your Guide to Financial Freedom.

I just bought it. 

(But I gave it to my husband to read first so when it's my turn, I can ask him to explain some of the parts about investing because all that financial industry stuff is like Chinese to me. I'm half Japanese. I don't understand Chinese.)

Tony has been doing his rounds, going on podcasts like here, here, here, and here.

And here.

Yeah, he's been pretty busy.

He's always busy.

Honestly, I've never been to any of his seminars, but I have a lot of friends who've been. 

Also, a lot of people who contact me for Network Spinal Analysis care ask me about it because they listened to Tony talk about it and heard that NSA is incredibly helpful.

For so many things.

In this video during one of his seminars, he introduces Donny Epstein, the founder and developer of NSA, and talks about how Tony first met him.

It's a funny clip.

(Be wary - it's NSFW. Lot of f-bombs all over the place.)

Now, Tony and Donny are good friends. And wherever Tony goes in the world, he has an NSA doctor come to adjust him so he's in top form.

I tell people over and over again, chiropractic isn't just for pain relief.

It's great for pain relief.

But that's only the tip of the iceberg.

Chiropractic, specifically Network Spinal Analysis is about helping your body be the best it can be.

Tony Robbins' whole purpose in life is to help and coach people to achieve and have their best lives possible.

And he is a huge proponent of NSA. 

I see the amazing results people get from it, and I love watching their lives transform because of it.

It's amazing.

The smartest thing to do is once you start seeing the results, get your family to have regular care with you too.

Get your friends to start care.

Imagine not only you having these great results, but everyone around you in your life having these awesome kick-ass results.

Who wouldn't want that!?

So get your butt in here and get adjusted!

See you soon!

— Dr MaryAnne

Husbands are both correct and wrong

Marriage is many things.

Sometimes it feels like the greatest thing in the world.

Sometimes it feels like the shittiest thing in the world.

And there's all the rest of what's in between those two realities.

For me, personally, marriage has been more challenging than I thought.

But don't get me wrong.

That's not a complaint.

It's just the nature of the beast.

Having and creating a marriage that is engaging, fun, happy, and fulfilling is a constant effort.

And sometimes I just don't wanna play.

It wasn't really until closer to my 10th year of marriage that I realised I really wasn't going to be able to change my husband (AKA My Brit).

After all, wasn't it Samuel Pepys, a famous diarist who once said,

"A woman marries a man because she thinks she can change him. A man marries a woman because he thinks she won't change. Both will be disappointed."

People who know both my husband and me know that we are very different from one another.

The topic of health is a constant debate in our household.

It definitely wasn't My Brit's healthy ways that attracted me to him.

(It was actually his accent that got me swooning and smitten. But that's another story to tell.)

My Brit loves food. 

The higher the fat and salt the better.

Add the alcohol and you have a near perfect meal.

My Brit believes in these essential food groups:

Fat; salt; sugar; butter; cheese; mustard; coffee; and alcohol

My husband is, as is the nature of husbands, both correct and wrong.

What about ice cream and chocolate?

Really!

In all seriousness, my Brit does love to push my buttons and tease me a lot, only because I get so easily worked up about this subject.

We're not anywhere near being a perfect couple.

We argue.

A lot.

And it's quite tumultuous.

But luckily, it's balanced out with the good times out-numbering the not-so-good times.

Like 75% good, 25% bad.

Plus, I adjust him regularly.

Now, I'm convinced that's a plus.

He's lucky.

In more ways than one.

(I am too.)

See you at your next adjustment!

— Dr MaryAnne

Space cakes might be interesting for my marriage

The last time my husband and I went away alone on a trip together was four years ago to the Isle of Skye.

In December.

We had a blast.

It was one of the best trips I've had with him.

At the time, my youngest was still a baby, I was still breastfeeding, and I was full-on bewbs deep in mummyland.

Going away with my hubby with no kids for 4 days sounded so alien to me.

Spending time with him alone, without the kids screaming and yelling, "Mummy! Mummy!" was so transformative!

Seriously!

What happened on this trip was unexpected.

Being able to wake up whenever, decide what to do whenever, and to eat whatever, whenever was so liberating.

It actually helped rekindle my love for my husband.

The light was shown onto him and revealed to me, "Oh! THIS is the guy you married! That's HIM!"

Yeah. It's been a while.

This week we're finally going away together again.

I. Am. So. Looking. Forward. To. It.

This time it's in Amsterdam.

When I tell people where I'm going, they tell me to take it easy on the space cakes.

(Hehe.)

That'll be something new. 

Because I've never been to Amsterdam before.

This whole trip is just what my husband and I need to do a marriage [software] update!

Somehow when we go away together, I feel young again.

The fun and flirty me kicks in, and I just feel like it's back when we first met.

That's so important in a marriage, because we all know that long-term relationships are damn hard.

Taking action and creating love, fun, and passion in my relationship is super important to me, my health, my happiness, and my life.

When I feel beautiful and in love with my husband, my fun and free femininity comes out. 

Things just HAPPEN. 

Like, amazing things.

Wonderful things.

That's why I have to do this.

It's a necessity for me in my life.

It fuels me and brings me joy, and helps me reset all my purpose in life and why I do what I do for myself, my kids, my husband, my family, and the people I adjust in my practice.

All of it.

So, have a great week. 

Book yourself in for a fabulous massage while I'm gone!

The practice is still open and happy to help you relax with Darren and Ana, my extraordinary massage therapists!

See you on Saturday the 25th when I return!

— Dr MaryAnne

I don't think you're ready for this jelly

Oh yeah.

It's happening today.

My trainer and I have been talking about this for months.

See, each week, at nearly every training session, we have these in-depth conversations about everything.

Well, nearly everything.

We don't talk about astronomy and how many moons Jupiter has.

Well, at least not yet.

(That's my 8-year-old son's job to discuss that.)

The discussions with my trainer range from totally silly to downright controversial.

In fact, most of them are controversial.

Debates ensue.

And with his passion and stubbornness combined with mine, sometimes it gets loud.

So the rest of the girls in our group just stop and listen. Because we don't let much more get another word in.

That's why we decided to start podcasting.

We'll talk about nearly everything. 

(Except about Jupiter's 67 moons and how big the Universe is, and all that jazz.)

It's called "Confessions of a Personal Trainer".

This is going to be fun, because at the end of the day, why not do anything if there isn't even a little fun in it?

Some topics will probabaly piss me off, and I know some will piss him off too. We'll get at each others' throats, and maybe one of us will storm out because it's just too much!

As Beyoncé chants, "I don't think you're ready for this jelly." 

That could very well apply in these territories of podcast debates!

So stay tuned for our first episode!

We're recording today!

Don't forget to get adjusted in the meantime!

See you soon.

— Dr MaryAnne